Loss | Lifestyle

Family is a funny thing, it's complex, rarely perfect and it's different for everyone. I suppose this post is more for me than anyone else because sometimes it is hard to process the loss of a family member, especially when there are added layers to the relationship anyway. 

I lost my Grandad at the age of 11, it hit me really hard, it was the first death I had experience and it pretty much shaped my teens, for years I really struggled with his loss. A few years after his death the breakdown of our relationship with my Nan (his wife) started. I'm not going to go into the details because I don't want to and I don't see the point in bringing it all up again, but we kinda became estranged from her. We would pick up on little developments in her life but contact was nonexistent. 

Couple of weeks ago we found out that she had actually died...in 2018, only found out because my dad checked the death register when another estranged family member could(should) have told us...

I was surprised at how I felt about it all, while I probably hadn't spoken to my Nan in maybe 10 years, I was pretty cut up about it and I guess I still am because I'm writing a bloody blog post about it to try and process it. I did cry over it, but the reality is a part of me felt like she died all those years ago because she just wasn't in my life. Then when we found out more about how she died and all of sudden I thought about how she might have felt or what she experienced. It's difficult because internally I am battling between rational thought vs emotion

Rational thought : My nan hasn't been in my life for so long, she wasn't particularly the nicest person and whether she is dead or alive it has very little impact on my day to day 

Emotion: I still have some wonderful memories, I spent a part of my childhood running around her garden and just being in her house and she was still my nan. 

That's the thing about loss, the impact varies so much between each person and for me, in this case the pendulum swings wildly between rational thought and emotion. I still don't know how I feel about it all, but I think that's ok...

Life Update | Lifestyle

It's been a while since I last came on here but now feels like a good time! In January I wrote one post which ended...

" 2020 will be a year of doing things, travelling more, doing more for others, spending quality time with friends and family but no doubt the year will have things planned that will change the course slightly but I want to be able to adapt and not take it all so personally. I want to read more poetry, visit more art galleries and just learn more about art and culture in general. I am feeling quite optimistic about the new year because it feels fresh, I'm not going into the year with a weight hanging on my neck." 

Who would have thought in less than 3 months a pandemic would break out and result in a lockdown situation.  It's crazy to think about it really, even when COVID-19 was just starting to be reported on the news I definitely didn't think it would ever be that serious. I could never have envisioned that I would have to spend months at home, not going to shops, not commuting into London for work, not seeing my friends or family properly, not travelling anywhere! However that's what it became and you know what I actually really learned to love it, I'll write a separate post on the positive things I will take from lockdown.

I definitely do want to start blogging again but there's also part of me that just can't be bothered, I think it's mainly because the way I think of blogging has changed. I did want to work with brands and was so excited when I was gifted things, I never wanted to make money from it but I did want brands to acknowledge my little part of the internet and over time that got less and less! Towards the end of last year I did enjoy the route my blog was going down it definitely felt more "me" but life does get in the way and I can't priorities my blog the way I did like 5 years ago and that's ok, it's a frickin' blog no one is putting pressure on me to do it! Hell, no one is even reading it so why I do I care so much if I haven't done anything for a week or so!?

Looking back on my last post, I actually think I have managed to succeed in some things I outlined, such as "quality time with friends and family" I have never face timed/called my loved ones as much as I have done since we were locked down, it's been really lovely and it made me realise that this is something I must continue.

So anyway, a small quick update from me and I hope I will continue to write more on this little space of the internet but who knows...

Back to Blogging | Life

And all of a sudden it was 11 months later and I am writing again for the first time. It's crazy to think that after all this time I am back and I actually want to blog! You could tell in my most recent posts something was a little off, I was kind falling out of love with it all and I just couldn't find the motivation. Sure I used my brand new home as an excuse and it was a good one because I got so out of my routine I struggled to form it again.

I would love to say I have been off travelling the world but the reality is, we got a new home, we got a dog, my job has been a massive struggle mentally and nothing felt good! In fact, I got really down and the crazy thing is I didn't need to be, I had all these wonderful things in my life but I just couldn't be bothered to write anything or commit any real time into blogging. I felt like I had to be constantly mindful of what I was saying because social media is such a minefield these days and if you say anything you're seen as negative or you are showing off, often you simply cannot win. This completely made me turn my back on blogging because I just couldn't see the point in writing anything.  

Recently I have thought often about my blog because I need something to distract my mind a little however I think I want to change my blog into conversational pieces. I think I am done with writing about beauty stuff, I want to use my blog as an outlet I can have a discussion on which hopefully someone will find interesting at the very least. Notice how I am saying "I think" a lot because in all honesty I don't really know how I want to evolve my blog, that said every now and then you may see the odd beauty post from me because it's still a massive interest of mine. But I don't want to get into a habit of constantly buying new things because it's all a bit unnecessary isn't it? I think blogging is a great thing but often people can get swept up into buying items/products they think they need just because they need content and I just don't want my blog to be about products anymore, I want to have a real voice again and I won't get that from writing about a bloody lipstick. 

I want my blog to become simplified, I don't want to post things because I feel like I just have to, I want to post things that I am genuinely interested in or passionate about, I may even start writing more commentary on the retail industry because it's something so ingrained in me that I definitely can talk a lot about but I know this may lead to people not even wanted to read it anymore, but as long as I am happy writing again then surely that's all that matters. I never started this blog to have a career carved out of it, I just wanted to write so I think I will.

Anyway, that's enough talking basically I'm back and I have some new content and I hope I'm back for a while at least!

We Bought Our First Home | Life Update

Yeah so basically me and the boyf finally completed on our little coach house a couple of weeks ago and it has been a bloody roller coaster. It's taken nearly 6 months for us to complete and I'm not gonna lie it has been quite stressful but nonetheless we are so frickin' happy to be in and living in this lovely new space!

I definitely needed to take just a couple of weeks off to sort everything out, we were actually really lucky because we got our keys the day before Good Friday and the Easter weekend so we decided that we would make the most of 4 days off of work and just buy and build everything we needed. Not gonna lie going to Ikea on Good Friday was somewhat hellish and a little overwhelming for me personally but we did so well. As the completion took so long again we were really fortunate because it meant that we could save more money and then be in a position to buy the things we needed, but of course our family also were so generous with their time and money, I was so incredibly grateful for them, not gonna lie! 

I don't want this post to be too long, I just wanted to give anyone reading a little reason of why I have been a little quiet lately, even on my social channels I haven't posted that much but I am excited to get back into the swing of things again! I am even more excited to include more home content on the ol' blog now, as it's a new build it means that everything is white and fresh and clean so it makes everything look so much better and we get to add our own touch of personality in different ways. 

So there we have it, expect a little change but for the next week or so it will be business as usual. 

What have you been up to lately?

Why I took a break...| Life Update

So from like November until now I took an unexpected break from my blog. I just felt like I had so much going on that I couldn't even begin to think about writing content, it just kinda felt like my posts had nothing behind them and I couldn't be bothered. I didn't mean to even take a break but it got to the day before my usual Sunday post would go up and  just thought "I have nothing to say"... 

2017 was a pretty odd year for me, I always knew that it would be difficult because 2016 was such a high but that's not to say I didn't have a good year because I really genuinely did, it was just stressful. So today I just wanted to take a moment to just explain why I have been quiet so anyone reading can understand that these things just happen.

Buying a house...
Yep, that's right me and the boyf are in the process of buying our first home which is just a little bit mental but it just takes so bloody long. We aren't even finished with the process, we are currently waiting for the contracts to exchange and for a completion date but it just feels like it's taken forever. It's hard because you get your hopes so high and then your fate just rests in everyone else's hands and we literally have no idea what we are even doing. We are both brand new to this entire process so it's a really big learning curve, Chris has been bloody amazing though because he has just dealt with the majority of it. I would have been so much more stressed if it wasn't for him and his rational thoughts, he is just incredible! Hopefully we will have a completion date soon! 

New job...
I got this job in September so you are probably thinking, "why is she still banging on about it?" but the thing is I joined the digital marketing team of a department store, so we are talking about retail, the busiest quarter of the entire year in the retail calendar is Q4 - October, November and December so I literally hit the ground running. I frickin' love it but it hasn't been easy, you're dealing with "New Job Syndrome" where you get worried that you can't even do the job you have been given or that everyone hates you whilst trying to actually do the damn job and learn the quirks of the company. The new job also means, new industry events and new social evenings that you have to go to because you're new, so you're just exhausted all the damn time. I get up when it's pitch black and come home when it's pitch black which means no time to actually take pictures, when the weekend comes I just want to chill and enjoy it.  

My phone was stolen...
A couple of guys on a moped just took it and also decided to give me a little shove which made me fall over like a right wally. I went out for a few drinks after work and was walking down a normal road in London and the bike just went on the pavement and took my damn phone! I sorted everything out really quickly because I ran into the 3 store on Oxford St to get the sim killed and my number swapped to a new one but the thing is I had loads of blog posts and pictures saved to my notes which I hadn't started writing yet so it's kind of left me with hardly any drafts of back up content which is so damn frustrating.  


So there we have it, that's why there has been a radio silence on Honeypot Blogs, but what happens next? Well I am going to start writing regularly again, I do miss blogging and once we have our own place I can make space to take pictures and do different content, I mean guys, I'll be writing about home and interiors as well. I needed the break in order for me to get interested again. 

What have you guys been up to the recent months?

Back In London | Lifestyle

Yes you read that correctly, I have given up the "work from home job" and decided to head back into the commuter chaos of London and I literally couldn't be happier! A few weeks ago I wrote about wanting to make some changes in my life and there were 5 key things that I wanted to change and one was definitely my career. It wasn't so much of a career change but more of am attempt to find my passion again, I missed being brand side and I missed fashion so I applied for a couple of role and got my utter dream job! 

Don't get me wrong, getting a new job is always hard because it's new and you have to make a good impression and then you have to pass probation but this was without a doubt the correct decision for me to make! Some people would think that giving up working from home daily is crazy but honestly it's just not for me! I missed people, I missed that routine and when I worked from home I just kinda felt like I let myself go and kinda forgot who I even was because it didn't matter because no one ever saw me! 

I work close to Oxford St which mean I get to pass all the wonderful fashion shops but I also get to see the street styles and different influences, I am not the most fashionable person at all but I do like fashion, I do like the latest trends even though I may not wear them, if that makes sense!? Also, now I walk around a lot more and eat less, I feel like I am looking more like me again, still early days though need to lose a lot more weight to feel more me but I am heading in the right direction!  

One thing I have been more cautious of is making sure I still have a good work/life balance, I don't want to get too obsessed with London again, I still have my wonderful bf that I want to spend time with and my glorious pals but it's just going to take a little time to get the right balance! 

I just thought I would give a quick update, I'm still new into my role so I still have lots of hard work to do but I'm so much happier and feel like I'm going in a positive direction! 

Life back in the UK | Lifestyle

I kinda thought I would just have a bit of a chatty kind of post and more of an update I guess. I have now been back in the UK for nearly 3 months and it's gone so quickly it's actually a bit odd. I seem to have settled back into my routine really quickly in fact it's almost like I never lived in Italy at all like it was one big dream, it's a little surreal. 

The first few weeks of being at home was just around Christmas so it felt really nice to just chill and faff around and considering I didn't have a job I didn't feel too stressed because it just seemed like I was on a Christmas break or something. I think the hardest part was looking for a job, because I was back at Christmas, a lot of companies didn't come back until the new year or your email just gets lost among the chaos. I had a mild panic before i got my job, but even finding a job I was fortunately in the sense I found one quite quickly and even had a couple of options so that part of my life fell into place quick nicely actually. 

Moving back home is always nice because I'm back to being in a home where there is always someone in so I'm definitely less lonely but of course it's always hard to move back in with the parents a little because you kinda wanna do things your way but you have to remember it's actually their home so I just need to shut up sometimes - I can be just a fusspot about how things are done! 

I love being close to my pals again, just the way we can meet up whenever we want now means so much to me. I'm not the type of girl to go out every weekend with a huge group of pals, you know I have my cherry picked pals but now I can sporadically meet up with them. Also being in the same bloody country, let alone the same town as my bf is the best! We can spend a night in just watching a movie and I'm pretty damn happy in all honesty. 

I'm still thinking about the goals that I had set in place right at the start of the year but some probably aren't realistic like looking for my own apartment after 3 months of being here, there are so many factors to consider so I think staying at home and saving money for a bit longer may be more beneficial in the long run. 

There we have my little life update! How is your year going so far? 

Moving back to the UK | Lifestyle

Ahhhhh can you believe it? I'm moving back to the UK after just over a year of being in the beautiful Florence. In all honesty, it has been the most amazing and intense year of my life and I have no regrets what so ever!

I think today I just wanted to have a chat about how I came around to the idea of moving back because it's probably a little out of the blue. In fact a lot of people were suprised at work. When I first came to Florence everyone was so shocked and surprised that I just up and left, but I had always argued that it just felt right. It was the right thing to do at the time so the decision and move was so easy for me! You guys might know, around 8 months into my move into Florence I became overwhelmingly homesick, I still don't know what triggered it, I tried so many things so get around it but it was always there. The sky wasn't as blue any more, the colours weren't as vivid, Florence just became muted and dormant.

I was also bloody lonely, I missed everyone and every detail about them. The only thing that would make me feel better was the thought of them coming to see me or the thought of going back home! There were of course other factors like work, this has a huge impact on my decision but I would never go into detail about that on my blog, it's not professional but it played a very big part for me. Even my apartment and it's unforgiving cold stone floors were getting to me, I just felt like I couldn't settle.

It just feels like the right time to be home with everyone I love, start my new chapter, start a new job, go back to the eternal heartbeat of London. Life can be so fun but if you can't share some moments with others, then it just gets a little sad. Also, I am bloody fed up with flat sharing, admittedly I am going to have to move back in with my rents so a little while but still, I can't wait to have my own space to just faff around with. 

Don't get me wrong I have a few people who I am really going to miss but I know that Florence isn't the right place for me. This will also mean I am likely to increase the amount of blog posts per week which will make me personally very happy, as my blog has definitely been neglected quite badly. 

There we have it, just a little life update so you know what's going on...

Friends come to visit | Lifestyle

Yay! Some pals from England came to visit me and I literally had the best time. In all honesty, I was really struggling this a couple of months ago being in Florence, don't get me wrong, the city is beautiful, my colleagues are great, I have the best roommates but even with this I am missing something that's keeping me grounded here. So a couple of months ago I was a right miserable cow, so my pals visit could not have been at a better time.

It's hard to explain, but even the simplest tasks like just having a general conversation without feeling guilty about making the other person speak English, so saying something funny that doesn't get lost in translation was just so lovely. I mean, let's face it, us Brits have some quirks, we have a unique sense of humour, we aren't very touchy feely, we love a queue and are painfully polite, so it can be bloody hard integrating into a culture where most of these things are opposite.

My two pals I have been friends with since Sixth Form, we did media projects together, we've been on group holidays together, we've all had drunken hearts to hearts with each other and we've all gone out separate ways but still manage to come back and have a drink and laugh like it was when we were teens. I took them to all my favourite places which I will probably write about in a different post so that if any of you guys are thinking about coming to Florence there are some tips.

In all honesty, I think one of the best things about living out here is having people come to visit and then showing them around a place you are currently calling home. Plus it gives me an excuse to eat more Italian food and drink more Italian wine, ya know because they've gotta taste it too! I took them up to my favourite high point, where I take anyone who comes just because it's very beautiful and it's a great little climb if we wanna work off that chianti and pasta. It was great just having them here considering I haven't seen them for 9 months. I have a couple of other visits coming up with I am of course super excited about.

But there I guess I wanted to give you a little update into my little life at the moment

What's next for Honeypot Blogs... | Lifestyle

That's a scary title isn't it? Well, just let me explain...

To my 3 regular readers, you may have noticed that I just haven't been posting a lot and this isn't because I don't like blogging anymore, it's all about the timing! I have started a new job and relocated to a different country in such a short space of time!! I did take a break and wrote a bunch of posts ready to get me started again and then...there it was...LIFE, it bloody got in the way again! Just as I was getting on track I had to stop again, which sucked!  It sucked because everything was down, the views, the followers and the engagement, it was a visual representation that I was failing my blog!

It took me a little while to think about how to carry on, the thing is I have always loved writing and yet here I am struggling to find time to put it all together but how could that be when I have so much more time now? The formula that I have always followed with my content was primarily reviews, 3 pictures maybe 4 and then the reason why I picked the item, the first impression, the results and my thoughts, it followed that specific formula for 2 years! It was only when I was reading a book that I realised it's just too routine, which worked when I had one but now I don't, everything changes all the bloody time so how can I expect my content to remain exactly the same? I just can't!

This means, Honeypot Blogs is going to take more of a lifestyle turn, so expect more personal and more content heavy posts, I'm going to be expressing my thoughts and opinions about topics that are important to me and hopefully something you can relate to as well! I will still be writing about food because...well...just yum!!! This blog will still remain true to me just a little broader in terms of what I am writing about! This way I can sit on a train/plane/in my room and just write instead of needing to see the pictures or the product a thousand times before I finish what I'm writing! Of course my posts will still have pictures but they won't be as structured and staged but more sporadic and real I guess!

You may see the odd beauty post filter through if it has already been in my drafts but they will become fewer and far between.

So let me know what types of posts you'd like to read? Do you even like content heavy posts?

Florence Update | Lifestyle

So I guess a little Italy update is about due, if you have been following my little blog you'll know that in November I moved to Italy because I was offered a job out here.It has been the most crazy few months I'm not gonna lie and I must admit my blog has taken a bit of a back seat in the last couple of weeks! Sorry!!! I'll explain what's going on with my blog in the next post but in this one let's have a chat about all things Italian!!

I must admit I feel like I've settled in pretty well, almost too well! I haven't officially been homesick, well, not really! Like I haven't looked back and thought I wish I was back in England, Christmas aside, of course I miss my friends and family but I don't want to go back, I want them to come out here instead!! For me, the hardest thing has been remembering that my friends and family have their own schedules which means I can't always speak to them, since moving out here I have all this free time and not that many people to spend it with so it's odd for me!

I definitely feel like the language thing was holding me back, it's not like I have come out here with even a basic understanding, I literally knew nothing!!!! And that's pretty damn hard when you can't even say "can I have a coffee", it's pretty isolating because you can't even try and involve yourself I conversations happening around you because you just have no idea! I'm a loud person, I'm nosey and talkative and yet I found myself sitting silently at my desk whilst things were happening around me! Couple this with the fact I was a new girl and it's bloody flippin' hard I tell you, but I have never once thought that I want to go home, I'll just figure it out here! I start my classes really soon and I think that will make me feel a little more confident and I'll keep you guys posted on that part of my journey too!

The lifestyle out here, generally speaking, is so much more relaxed! Back in England and London I was in a tight routine which I absolutely loved but out here I literally don't have any routine, it's odd but it kinda suits the lifestyle! You eat dinner late, everyone looks at me odd when I eat my dinner at like 6:30pm!! I am missing going to the gym a little, I loved that routine but the thing is, I have am obsessive personality which means that I know what I would be like if I joined a gym out here, I would choose that over life experiences which just isn't ideal!

I am loving it out here and genuinely is one of the best decisions I have ever made and believe me, I have a track record for making some pretty dumb moves! I just thought I would share that little update with you guys!

A bit of a break | Life Update

If you are of the regular 3 readers who actually read my tiny little blog, you'll notice I haven't posted for a couple of days which I do feel bad about. As you may know I am moving to Florence, which is happening really soon, like on Monday 16th November to be precise. So I have kinda been a bit all over the place because I've been trying to get my life together, trying to see all my friends, finishing work, etc which has meant I haven't been as engaged with my blog. It's not about the content, I have many drafts but it's finding the time to take pictures or proof read and then to promote and join the chats. I've had to turn down many opportunities because I couldn't promise when I'd be able to write about those products. 

The really great thing is I will have so much more time  when I am in Florence because I won't have the crazy commute I do here from Essex into London everyday, I will also be experiencing so many new things that I will want to share with you guys too. I love blogging and love my little blog but just to get my life in order I'm going to take a little break, I will still be active on social media but no new posts for a week or so. I don't want my absence to last longer than 2 weeks really so in the background I will be making sure my drafts are all up to scratch and then I'll be posting regular life updates about the relocation to Italy etc. 

Come follow me on Twitter  and Instagram